...I just wish I had it.
Some might argue that I do. But, I'll be honest, those people would be few and far between.
I wish I were the type of person that could say something truly earth-shattering and magnificent every time you were to speak to me. The kind of person that people just gravitated to because I was so profound. Yep, I want to be the new Plato...
I've sorta figured out over time that being the new Plato might be a lot easier said than done.
I'm an excellent communicator. Truly, I am. My closest friends would definitely agree. Them and my stuffed bear whom I used to practice my presentations to in elementary school, and some of high school (and most of university...)
I have visions of coming up with my own sex-in-the-city-esque "I couldn't help but wonder..." catch phrase and reeling in thousands...all with one gabby gift.
Sometimes it just flows. I astound myself with my wordy worldlyness. Like in interviews! My words are like butter in interviews! I'm not complaining. I would rather prefer to keep my interview performances at an all time high BUT what's going on all those other times when I want to get my point across - dazzle and wow???
It's definitely not a self confidence thing. I think it's rather twisted actually. I think that somehow I convince myself that I should be nervous/anxious/lost for words in a particular situation and so, I end up being said feelings in said situation. How sad is that??
It's not even that I'm worried or nervous during appropriate times either. This is what irks me the most - I get nervous when I'm on the phone giving someone driving directions. When a friend asks me what I thought of the movie I saw last night. When my dad asks me what I ate for supper. When I was supposed to upkeep this blog and write in it daily but instead I'm posting now after nearly a year...
I think I feel the need to be so witty and so interesting to talk to that the very pressure of it all makes my vocal cords want to run like the wind.
Guys, seriously...what is wrong with me?? I concern myself. I really do.
=)
Thursday, April 2, 2009
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