The Importance of Being Earnest

However devious you might consider Jack Worthing to be , I think he was on to something.

Oscar Wilde's character had an incredible amount of responsibility in addition to a grand reputation to uphold. With all that to deal with, I wouldn't be surprised if he slumped in his large leather chair at night wondering what the hell he got himself into.

In response to these overwhelming pressures, Jack had decided to fabricate himself a brother named Earnest who was constantly finding himself in situations that Jack needed to get him out of. What an intelligent way of creating a way out - a much needed vacation.

To an extent we all give ourselves these excuses to escape from the reality of our lives. I'm not talking about reasons for procrastination though. I'm referring mainly to that tendency that we have to create a justification for whatever wrong/irresponsible act we all claim to fall victim to.

A person handicapping their ability to perform at a sporting event by not practicing might sound absurd but it happens. It is usually the case that the individual fears failure and is under immense pressure to succeed.The twisted logic here is that, although they will indeed fail, they would have created themselves an excuse such as, "I was too busy to practice the way I would have liked and had my life been less hectic, I surely would have excelled in the match". This, of course, will bring about some sympathy from others and from the person that tends to judge you the most: you.

Don't think you do this? Consider:

Recently, I didn't feel like doing an assignment so I made the excuse that it was unfair. In reality, I thought it was actually a fair albeit challenging test of knowledge. By allowing myself to believe in the assignments "unfairness", I didn't feel as irresponsible when I continuously put it off.

Sound familiar??

In any case, the more symbolic side of this play lies behind the word earnest and it is this feeling of doing something whole-heartedly that I wish to discuss.

I have always tried to live my life with passion and feeling. Although I do find this difficult and futile at times, I feel that this is a necessary part of my self-concept and an indication of how successful and happy I am at the moment.

I could have written the last few months but I would not have done so earnestly and the thought of doing something half-heartedly feels like defeat to me.

By making a point of being thoughtful about the events of my life, I usually manage to find something that sparks my interest and develops my passions. What normally follows is that I find myself making less excuses about having to get things done. Everything turns into challenge in which I have the opportunity to test my capabilities, stretch my intellectual limits and add to my achievements.

What's not exciting about that?

Maybe Jack needed some passion...

(photo credit: thebigTopHat)

Is honesty really the best policy?

We all lie to an extent; white lies, serious lies, living a lie, self-deceiving lies...the list goes on. Regardless of what it is, should it always be frowned upon?

While I don't condone lying all the time, isn't it okay to "truth-twist" a bit? For example, do you necessarily want to explain to your child that they're beloved dog Fido got smushed underneath an 18 wheeler? Most of us would say things like "Fido went to look for his family in Mexico because even doggies have families...".

Sure, certain lies could cause a lot of unnecessary hurt and should always be avoided with those that you care about but this brings me to my next point.

I was recently watching an episode of Boston Legal wherein the father of a child has recently divorced the child's mother. The father is now dying of a form of cancer that requires a viable bone marrow donor in order to give him a fighting chance. The mother has rights to the child's umbilical cord which has been kept frozen in a cryogenic lab in case the child should ever need it. Although the father requests use of the child's umbilical cord to cure him, the mother does not want to release it because she knows that her ex-husband is not actually the biological father of the child. The legal attorney, who is now aware of this fact, is faced with the difficult decision of whether she should observe the duty she has to her client to tell him the truth or whether she should keep the truth from him to prevent any additional mental anguish.

What does she do?

She lies. She tells him that the umbilical cord was accidentally damaged.

This brings about another side of things - if you could tell a lie to save a person from being hurt, would you do it?

I know this sounds bad but depending on the situation, I know that I would lie. While I know that I have no right to decide what would be best for another person, I would always shield someone I love from definitely being hurt. I can't help it. I'm aware of the moral implications but I kind of brush those aside.

Don't take me as the type of gal that would say that you look wonderful in a dress that doesn't flatter your figure. I'm not that black and white. I'll make decisions based on someone's best interest. If I know that a girlfriend is trying to find something that would make them look scrumptious for an afternoon, I will not EVER let them walk out of a change room looking like a pile of lumps and bumps.

I think that, in the end, it is important to identify who you are deceiving with this lie. Is it someone else you are protecting, or is it yourself? Are you lying about kissing a floozy while you're attached because you genuinely love him and sincerely regret getting so hammered OR is it because you don't want to get caught. If your answer is the latter, then maybe your best option is to actually get caught so that you can, once again, have the freedom to explore other options.

Questions, questions...answers anyone?