On & On

Always, Sometimes, Never

2010-05-21T09:12:00.002-04:00

The idea for this post came from the ever talented Lisa from Lisa's Yarns. Bright girl, she is!

Posts like this are great because you get to know a little more about me! Despite being let into some of my most personal thoughts, we're all still learning about each other, aren't we?

Always

Start off my day by being thankful for what I've been given.
Judge a man's character by the way he keeps his shoes. Something instilled in me by my father I suppose. I remember seeing him polish his shoes every weekend in preparation for his next work week.
Feel sad for furniture that have been left on people's lawns for garbage pick-up. I'm a ridiculous person that gives inanimate objects voices and feelings so nothing makes me more sad then a couch left out in the rain. (makes me sad just thinking about it!)

Sometimes

Strut when I walk. It really has to do with the shoes I'm wearing. If I'm wearing sexy woman's power pumps, you can bet that I'll be strutting.
Feel like I should be doing more: love, friendship, to help people, to achieve greater things. I think this is a good thing though; I'm always motivated to gain more ground and overcome hurdles.
buy things for myself that I intended on buying for other people. I usually feel guilty about this...

Never

Leave a desk or a table without pushing my chair in. It's an odd habit.
Go to sleep angry. At least, I try not to.
have enough stationary or shoes. It's a problem that is threatening to take over my life (and the storage space in my apartment...).

Okay everyone! Now it's your turn to do a always, sometimes, never style post. Let me know if you've done this so I can go check it out!

If I don't post before the weekend, have a great one! Long weekends are muchos fun - may yours be full of warm laughs, surprises and maybe a good book (or two).

Restless

2010-05-20T11:18:00.003-04:00

I've been entertaining the strangest and most foreign thoughts lately; ideas so ludicrous that I expect my usually-grounded-control-freak mind to rebel against.

Throughout last week and into this week, I've been feeling particularly out of sorts. I don't exactly understand why since I'm incredibly content with my life at the moment; I have a great job, excellent colleagues, I make dozens of fantastic contacts on a regular basis, the weather is hot, there's a hammock on my balcony with my name on it, I have a lot of plans in the works for myself that are positive and exciting and I have love. You must be thinking, what does she have to complain about?

Truth is...very little! So what's the problem?

I'm incredibly restless

Although I tend to like "constants" in my life, there's a part of me that yearns to be ill-fated to the sort of life portrayed by Juliette Binoche in Chocolat.

(I picked her rather than a gypsy because she's very stylish and doesn't have the problem of terrible teeth and personal hygene...yuck!)

Do you ever think about life's what-ifs? What would life be like if you just left it all, right now.

Pack up. Take what you need. Get on a plane. Build a business... start a life somewhere else.

I vote for my new life on a beach.

What an enchanting thought...

(Photo Credit - Ben)

Quiet thoughts...

2010-05-18T10:39:00.002-04:00

I wonder if this is love.

this constant yearning to just be near you

to hear your voice

watch you

learn from you

that feeling of knowing that whatever I say will be enough

and will be the answer to your questions.

it must be...

it is.

(Photo Credit - Osvaldo_Zoom)

Mysteries

2009-11-17T23:55:00.004-05:00

How do we make our choices? Do we logically think them through? Where do our instincts and gut reactions come into play? How about those decisions made in total confidence that fate will intervene in the best way possible?

I feel that as of late, I've been waging a bit of a war with my life, the way I live it and how I understand it. It's not so much that I have choices to make that would tangibly affect my life (no new workplaces, new majors, or new houses) but rather, I feel that I've started a mini-revolution of the mind. At first glance, it sounds like an opportunity to challenge myself and to "think outside the box" however, I don't seem to be taking it as well as I hoped.

I've been presented with endless possibilities that have the potential to change my thought structure and in so doing, the way I comprehend my existence. Although I am elated at times at this prospect, I feel crippled by the doubts and fears that creep through the depths of my mind. I also can't get over the cost associated with this mini-reinvention of self.

I am extremely uncomfortable with the thought of hurting people just to pursue what I feel is best for myself. The risk is acceptable if I am the only one who stands to lose but it rarely is the case that, as Simon and Garfunkel once put it, I am a rock, I am an island.

Walking into the unknown worries me most when I am choosing to affect the lives of people around me by making a change in my life. What if my reasons for change turn out to be misinformed? What if this path leads me nowhere? Just because I strive for more, does that mean that I drop everything that can't give that to me? I can't help but feel upset about the possibility of making a mistake and consequently hurting people unnecessarily.

Nothing is assured and however heartbreaking it is, I feel that I'm walking blindly just hoping that someone would throw me a lifeline. It is absolutely terrifying to think that I can play all my cards right, agonize and plan but still be subject to the million other factors that will ultimately decide whether or not the outcome would be as I wished and hoped. I emphasize it again: terrifying.

On a more positive note, I turn to one of my favourite poets for words of inspiration:

"You are so young, so before all beginning, and I want to beg you, as much as I can, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves…."
- Rainer Maria Rilke

I'm trying...

The Importance of Being Earnest

2009-11-14T14:29:00.004-05:00

However devious you might consider Jack Worthing to be , I think he was on to something.

Oscar Wilde's character had an incredible amount of responsibility in addition to a grand reputation to uphold. With all that to deal with, I wouldn't be surprised if he slumped in his large leather chair at night wondering what the hell he got himself into.

In response to these overwhelming pressures, Jack had decided to fabricate himself a brother named Earnest who was constantly finding himself in situations that Jack needed to get him out of. What an intelligent way of creating a way out - a much needed vacation.

To an extent we all give ourselves these excuses to escape from the reality of our lives. I'm not talking about reasons for procrastination though. I'm referring mainly to that tendency that we have to create a justification for whatever wrong/irresponsible act we all claim to fall victim to.

A person handicapping their ability to perform at a sporting event by not practicing might sound absurd but it happens. It is usually the case that the individual fears failure and is under immense pressure to succeed.The twisted logic here is that, although they will indeed fail, they would have created themselves an excuse such as, "I was too busy to practice the way I would have liked and had my life been less hectic, I surely would have excelled in the match". This, of course, will bring about some sympathy from others and from the person that tends to judge you the most: you.

Don't think you do this? Consider:

Recently, I didn't feel like doing an assignment so I made the excuse that it was unfair. In reality, I thought it was actually a fair albeit challenging test of knowledge. By allowing myself to believe in the assignments "unfairness", I didn't feel as irresponsible when I continuously put it off.

Sound familiar??

In any case, the more symbolic side of this play lies behind the word earnest and it is this feeling of doing something whole-heartedly that I wish to discuss.

I have always tried to live my life with passion and feeling. Although I do find this difficult and futile at times, I feel that this is a necessary part of my self-concept and an indication of how successful and happy I am at the moment.

I could have written the last few months but I would not have done so earnestly and the thought of doing something half-heartedly feels like defeat to me.

By making a point of being thoughtful about the events of my life, I usually manage to find something that sparks my interest and develops my passions. What normally follows is that I find myself making less excuses about having to get things done. Everything turns into challenge in which I have the opportunity to test my capabilities, stretch my intellectual limits and add to my achievements.

What's not exciting about that?

Maybe Jack needed some passion...

(photo credit: thebigTopHat)

Is honesty really the best policy?

2009-08-19T12:43:00.008-04:00

We all lie to an extent; white lies, serious lies, living a lie, self-deceiving lies...the list goes on. Regardless of what it is, should it always be frowned upon?

While I don't condone lying all the time, isn't it okay to "truth-twist" a bit? For example, do you necessarily want to explain to your child that they're beloved dog Fido got smushed underneath an 18 wheeler? Most of us would say things like "Fido went to look for his family in Mexico because even doggies have families...".

Sure, certain lies could cause a lot of unnecessary hurt and should always be avoided with those that you care about but this brings me to my next point.

I was recently watching an episode of Boston Legal wherein the father of a child has recently divorced the child's mother. The father is now dying of a form of cancer that requires a viable bone marrow donor in order to give him a fighting chance. The mother has rights to the child's umbilical cord which has been kept frozen in a cryogenic lab in case the child should ever need it. Although the father requests use of the child's umbilical cord to cure him, the mother does not want to release it because she knows that her ex-husband is not actually the biological father of the child. The legal attorney, who is now aware of this fact, is faced with the difficult decision of whether she should observe the duty she has to her client to tell him the truth or whether she should keep the truth from him to prevent any additional mental anguish.

What does she do?

She lies. She tells him that the umbilical cord was accidentally damaged.

This brings about another side of things - if you could tell a lie to save a person from being hurt, would you do it?

I know this sounds bad but depending on the situation, I know that I would lie. While I know that I have no right to decide what would be best for another person, I would always shield someone I love from definitely being hurt. I can't help it. I'm aware of the moral implications but I kind of brush those aside.

Don't take me as the type of gal that would say that you look wonderful in a dress that doesn't flatter your figure. I'm not that black and white. I'll make decisions based on someone's best interest. If I know that a girlfriend is trying to find something that would make them look scrumptious for an afternoon, I will not EVER let them walk out of a change room looking like a pile of lumps and bumps.

I think that, in the end, it is important to identify who you are deceiving with this lie. Is it someone else you are protecting, or is it yourself? Are you lying about kissing a floozy while you're attached because you genuinely love him and sincerely regret getting so hammered OR is it because you don't want to get caught. If your answer is the latter, then maybe your best option is to actually get caught so that you can, once again, have the freedom to explore other options.

Questions, questions...answers anyone?

Weekend Funny

2009-08-16T13:36:00.002-04:00

A few months ago, a family friend bought a laptop and now has no use for it. He had originally bought it as a gift for someone but that person ended up already having a similar laptop and to make a long story short, I ended up having the laptop in question.

So, I am now the owner of a shiny new acer aspire one however, there is one small problem.

The entire computer is in French.

Luckily, I do have a fairly decent understanding of the language and so, I proceeded to try and play around with the language settings but to no avail.

It turns out the entire operating system is in French and needed a full system recovery to solve the problem. After having done this, the computer was still opening up in French but it was at least decent enough to ask me what language I communicate in most of the time.

I obviously chose "English" to which it said, "d'accord!" and continued speaking to me in French...

*forehead slap*

Honestly...

Couldn't find the cat...

2009-08-15T11:52:00.003-04:00

It doesn't help that he's all black. He kind of disappears in shadows in the apartment - very discrete.

Finally I did find him hiding in his little tent.

I guess everyone finds the sun a bit overbearing today! Although he's quite the cabana boy...

Soundtrack to my life...

2009-08-12T13:55:00.003-04:00

I often have a soundtrack playing in my head and its never "cool" music either. It could be something I've heard before like a popular melody or a guitar rift (think white stripes 7 nation army...) It could also be something I've made up without quite realizing that I have. Either way, its odd when I catch myself doing it.

For example, I have a very bubbly "driving" specific tune that sounds a bit like the beginning of Nelly Furtado's "All good things".

What encouraged me to write this post however was the emergence of something odd with respects to mental soundtracks. When I'm riding my bike on the way to work with a skirt on, I get the Wicked Witch of the West theme song stuck in my head. Maybe it's a function of all that billowing cloth and the feeling that I'm on a mission because I'm, once again, late for work...I don't know. It's still disturbing.

Random Acts of Kindness

2009-08-05T21:34:00.003-04:00

I'm feeling a wee bit anxious tonight - perhaps it's due to the full moon. Maybe I should take the hint and anticipate some sort of morph into a werewolf. Now THAT would be cool!

Although I highly doubt that I will become a hairy, howling shewolf anytime soon, I've been perusing the internet looking for something to distract me from constantly looking at my hands expecting to see fur...

Sir Plantalot came through with a great distraction in the form of an enchanting web - article. Usually, he provides distractions in the form of the chicken dance or something else equally humiliating and embarrassing. So consider yourselves lucky dear readers. You wouldn't want me to share video clips of his chicken dance. That's just something you could live without...

In any case, enough with the werewolves and ramblings.

Has anyone ever heard of the Sconestone yet?

Beautiful, isn't it?

The idea behind it is even more so.

Warren MacLeod, from Nova Scotia, Canada, created this for his wife, Kari. Inspired by her random acts of kindness, Warran wanted to give her something special so that her kindness would never go unnoticed.

The Sconestone however, is not the sort of gift that he wanted her to keep on her desk for the rest of her life. In a few weeks time, it will leave her care and be given to a stranger. This stranger will be tasked with the SconeStone rules:

1. Do at least one Act of Kindess to a person, animal or anything that is good for the planet as a whole.

2. Keep the stone for no more than 7 days.

3. Encourage friends and strangers to touch the stone and pledge to do an act of kindess. Be creative!

4. Please pass the stone on to a person you trust will honour the purpose of the stone

5. And lastly, post on the Sconestone website about your experience with the stone.

What a beautiful way to eternalize the kindness in one person and promote small waves of change.

The Sconestone is destined to travel the world, and influence change both large and small.

To read more about the making,concept and events leading up the Sconestone launch on August 28th, be sure to visit the Sconestone website.

(photo credit; Sconestone website)

Happy Tuesday and....a Guest Post!

2009-08-03T23:49:00.008-04:00

Yesterday was a civic holiday in Canada! I spent part of my day cleaning my apartment which was a lot dirtier than I thought it was and then, I put up hammocks on the balcony and tada! A restful start to my holiday began! I'm nearly finished reading Shantaram which is good and bad at the same time. It's such a wonderful book in so many ways however, I'm eager to start on The Angel's Game. I'm surprised at how long it's taking me to get through a book this summer - I suppose I have less time than I thought I would have to dedicate to reading.

But enough about me, here's a treat for you! I recently participated in a blog swap thrown by Twenty Something Bloggers where we got teamed up with another interested individual to create guest posts for each other's blog. You can check out my post for Andy's blog at WildARSChase.blogspot.com later on today. Without further ado, here he is!

----

What's crackalackin', On & On readers?

Just kidding. I would never use crackalackin' in everyday conversation. I'd wait until I was cast in the appropriate teen romantic comedy.

So I'm Andy, from WildARSChase.blogspot.com. As part of 20 Something Blogger's recent blog swap, Salut! chou chou* and I got paired up, not unlike a blind date.
But unlike a blind date, we weren't forced to awkwardly hug at the end, and I didn't get stuck paying the bill while she tried to text her friends for an escape plan.

It's tough writing a post for a blog you only just discovered. I don't know anything about you, chou chou's readers. You could all be Victoria's Secret models. You could all be homicidal. You could all be homicidal Victoria's Secret models (i.e. Tyra Banks).

I figured my best bet would be taking an element of her page and giving you my own spin.
So, here you go, straight from her sidebar:

Can't:

Say no to cookies
Limit my America's Next Top Model intake
Keep a straight face
Do calculus (ooh, we're alike)

Can flirt in a bar:

If I want my girlfriend to kill me
In one, monosyllabic language
If I feel my self esteem needs to be lowered

Recommends:

Taco Bell
Beings best friends with a mechanic who will fix your car for free
Drinking hot chocolate at Starbucks so you feel trendy
Pittsburgh

Happiest when...

My laundry gets done magically without me doing it
I dream of genie
I hand in my newspaper articles on my job
In bed with my eyes closed because I'm asleep

* Confession: As I'm an ignorant American, I had to google "chou chou." Google says it's a French way of saying "sweetie" or "honey" or any other random nickname. I will ask my girlfriend to call me chou chou. Don't see that going well.

Mentally checked out...

2009-07-24T14:41:00.002-04:00

I don't exactly know where I've been lately. Feels like I've been sucked into a life-encompassing void of...nothingness. To put the last few weeks in review would be impossible. It's strange how I feel as if weeks have gone by with nothing memorable or poignant punctuating its passing.

Oh well, I'm back from outer-space.

Brief update on some exceptions to the nothingness that has vastly consumed my life lately (which, by the way, shouldn't be the case any longer - I shall be muchos busy from here-on-in):

1. I realized that, while rock climbing might seem like a cool thing to do, it scares the crap out of me. I'm eager to get over this completely irrational fear and give it another shot. In my defense, my hands are always unusually sweaty (I know...it's gross) which makes it incredibly hard to grab onto tiny weeny holds. Go figure, huh?

2. I totally engaged in some ridiculous retail therapy. I am now I proud (?!) owner of a new Canon Powershot SD9901S, a puma jacket and some new yoga pants. Although I got all of the above items on sale, I still feel as if I just got manipulated by corporate America. On the bright side, I can now take better pictures since my camera is no longer in Japanese. That's the trouble with buying things off eBay sometimes...your products come in surprising languages. * Sigh * One day, I will have the pennies to buy one of those super duper photographic master cameras and I will be photo-taking extraordinaire. You just wait. You'll see.

3. As a result of the happenings of the above mentioned shopping spree, I have just ran up my 2 day old credit card with more than $360 worth of merchandise. Great! I'm off to a wonderful start! But, as the Hitchiker's guide says, "don't panic" - I have money to cover it and more. The joys of working full time before going back to my peasant ways of full-time student are endless.

4. I've recently been reminded that no matter how many times you repeat something, and no matter how many seemingly reassuring and comprehending looks I recieve from him, my cat does not have a clue about what I'm saying.

5. I'm a heck of a lot stronger than I used to be. I can now lift more weights than the group of 20 something year old international students that are always on the weight machines before me everyday. They need to seriously learn to strip their weights so I dont giggle my ass off when I get to the machines and see that I'm doing more then their burly selves.

6. One of the guys in the tech department in my office sneezes with a force comparable to a mighty tsunami. It's awesome.

Okay, that's all that comes to mind. Until next time - live long and prosper.

Hot Bed for Culture

2009-07-10T23:30:00.005-04:00

It's Friday and it is also a beautiful night in the city. Any energetic, outgoing twenty-something would be out enjoying the weather, having a good time and basking in the beauty of a hot summer night. I am, however, not doing any of the above. As you'll get to know me, you'll notice that I'm not too much of a party-sharty kinda gal. I love taking it easy at home, reading, writing and catching up on the world and all its goings-on that I didn't get the chance to see during the week. I think this partially has to do with being locomotive-ly challenged (a.k.a without wheels - my bike doesn't count guys...) as well. Somehow, going out to enjoy nightlife, isn't as hot when you're forced to be back on Hamilton Public Transit before 12:35 a.m so that you aren't stranded in shanty town.

What saves my weekend from complete domestic boredom has to be my Saturdays. I usually go to Toronto and spend some time enjoying the city, hanging out with my oh-so-classy mother or some friends and just having a great time.

Tomorrow, I am squeezing in a little appointment with mr. foot doctor podiatrist extraordinaire. It turns out that I have some serious foot related lower back issues and I'm excited to start getting it all sorted out. Best of all, it's covered by my mother's insurance (thank goodness) and I won't have to pay very much at all.

I should be done my appointment in the early afternoon and so, that leaves a bit of time to catch up with some friends, hang out with mummy dearest, and roam the streets in search of one of the many festivals that go on in Toronto every weekend. That sounds like a good enough day except...there's going to be more!

Sir Plant-a-lot had a stroke of genius and a few weeks ago;he made reservations for din din at the Drake Hotel. Now normally, we wouldn't be able to afford such extravagances but summerlicious made it possible.

Essentially, Summerlicious is a prix fixe menu of some of Toronto's best restaurant and food venues. This of course, makes the inaccessible, accessible to those who need to justify the need to purchase another bag of milk (haha, it's not that bad, but sometimes it could be!).

In any case, Sir Plant-a-lot and I are on a mission to not be 102 years old and actually indulge, enjoy and act like we're less than 30. This is a start.

The Drake Hotel, I've been told is a really artistic, swanky and vintage inspired place. All-in-all it's been described as a hot bed for culture in Toronto.

I'm looking forward to the experience and will be sure to let you guys all know how the night went down =).

Didukh

2009-07-08T11:59:00.004-04:00

Lately I've really begun to enjoy the natural taste of vegetables and grains. Growing up eating a very rich, saucy and spicy cuisine was wonderful, however, I rarely tasted what flavour each element of a dish would have on its own. This also continued to be the case in first and second year of university when I was still learning about how I can balance my studies and my personal life effectively - essentially, cooking never really happened and if it did, it consisted of something saucy (because it is quick way to add flavour) and some sort of grain or vegetable (which was also drowning in sauce).

Now that I use cooking as a sort of break from schoolwork, work-work, and all the other stuff in between, I'm beginning to truly notice the taste of all those fruits, vegetables and grains. I no longer cook with sauces unless I make them from scratch and all the flavours in my food tend to be from a natural source (less spices!). I love the nutty taste that some of the grains have and how simple salad dressings (example: mixing balsamic vinegar, honey, olive oil, garlic, salt & pepper) can just bring out the flavour of bronchoccini cheeses and hot house tomatoes.

We have so many unique and interesting tastes at our disposal that it's shame that our society focuses around processed foods. I understand this is a function of our busy lives and perhaps our financial situation however, if one wanted to eat well, one could. Healthy doesn't mean tasteless either as I am discovering. So put away those bottled sauces! Your taste buds & heart will thank you!

Adding on to the heathy-does-not-equal-gross-tasting point, I would like to point out the yummyness of Kashi's cherry dark chocolate chewy granola bars . I recently tried them because they were on sale (usually, I can't afford them - starving student, remember?) but holy teapot, they are SO good. Soft, chewy, with chunks of cherry (like serious chunks, not just little bits) and dark chocolate chips. So amazingly good in taste and for you, they contain 7 whole grains and sesame. Fantastic!

So next time you're in the grocery store, go back to the basics and find out what asparagus really tastes like when it's not covered in butter...

(photo credit: Trish Mayo )

Simplicity

2009-07-07T09:18:00.004-04:00

I hope to have a simply lovely day regardless of the dark rain clouds that loom in the distance. Maybe a nice cup of tea would do the trick.

What are your simple pleasures?

(photo credit: {manda})

List

2009-07-06T23:47:00.001-04:00

Alright, this is it. The list.

In it, I find the things that I fear most, desire most, want most and need most. All those things I feel I need to accomplish in this lifetime. Please don't take this as a list that is all inclusive. I acknowledge that this list will change, shorten or even grow during my life time. The evolution of this list is proof of my existence and my will to live.

Most importantly, it is proof to myself that I'm alive...

1.To be self-sufficient and independant - I feel like life can throw lemons at any time. I would to be able to know that if I happen to end up being a cat lady without friends or family, that I would be okay. On my own. By myself.

2. To continue learning - I never want to feel stagnant and mentally "dead". Even if my life becomes so routine that my days feel like duplicates of an old boring photograph , I want to discover other things that feed my mind and challenge my skills and capabilities.

3. To be in the company of those I admire - Now this can sound a bit harsh but I won't revoke it. I don't like being around people whom I do not admire. I believe that friendships are an amazing way to learn and grow. I like to look at my friends and say, "yes, you are truly unique and I know exactly what it is about you that I would like to see in myself". I want to surround myself with people that I can learn from and always be in constant company with those who are more successful, stronger and more creative than I am.

4. To never forget where I came from - As far as family drama goes, mine could contest the best and take the prize. Although I can't say that I want to necessarily be exactly like my family, I don't ever want to forget where I came from. I came from humble beginnings and I grew up to understand and appreciate the simple things in life since that sometimes was all that we had. I learned to be so content with this that hardly anyone knew that we were struggling financially and emotionally and so, because of this, I feel prepared to take on the world. I want to hone what I love about my family and improve on their weaknesses. Overall, I consider myself a better person for it.

5. A place to call my own - I can't say that growing up in two households was easy. Although my parents did everything possible to make my weekly transitions from one house to the next pleasant, I always felt disorganized, anxious and uprooted. As a result, I'm always seeking consistency even though I know that settling into a routine makes me one boring gal. I want to have the walls of my house painted with me and the voices of those I love echoed through its hallways. I feel well on my way towards this and so, this is one goal I'm not worried about achieving.

6. Seeing things for what they are and not what I've been told they should be - Little is attractive to me than the ability to relate to people genuinely. I want to challenge my preconceptions (I'm not going to lie, I have some...) and step out of my comfort zone. When I look around me, I want to see my shelves come alive with memories of old friends, travels, and tests of faith and inner - strength. I want to come to my own, well contested, conclusions. World, here I come.

Thanks for hearing me out - there's a lot more where this comes from but these are the first things that come to mind. I'm neglecting a lot here, and I'm well aware of it. I think I'm still trying to figure out how to word the hardest, most intimate thoughts. Ha! We'll see how it goes the next time Inspiration takes hold. Stay tuned for more about me =)

- interlude -

p.s = get used to seeing "interludes" - I would consider it a tragedy if I ever actually finished this list. To consider the thought of never dreaming and striving for something would be to consider me dead. Yikes.

(Photo credits:Some.day)

Can't wait...

2009-07-05T17:44:00.004-04:00

Every book has a soul,
The soul of the person who wrote it
and those who have read it, and lived and dreamed with it.
Every time a book changes hands, every time someone runs their eyes down its pages, its spirit grows and strengthens.

- Carlos Ruiz Zafrón

The trouble with waiting for a foreign written novel to come out is that you have to wait for someone to translate it. It was nearly close to torture for me just to know that people in Europe were able to read this book a year and some prior to it even coming out in North America! With this in mind, I even contemplated learning more Spanish so that I could read his texts in their original language...Crazy, I know.

Although I'm dying to dive into this book, I have a few reservations. His previous book, Shadow of the Wind was so remarkable that I find myself a bit cautious in approaching this book in the same way, and with the same expectations. It was the type of book that I found myself buying multiple copies of in the last five years just because I kept on giving my copy to friends (if you haven't read it, read it now!!) Needless to say, the expectations were high for this book. It's almost like watching the first part of a trilogy, loving it, and then being scared to watch the second because you doubt that it could be exceed the impression the first one has left on you. Zafrón's writing gives words to my dreams; that being said, I'm so immensely worried that he will be changed with this new book.

Also, since I am still reading Shantaram, I've decidedly promised to not pick up the Zafrón until I'm done it. I wouldn't want to become enamored with Angel's and forget about all that Shantaram has brought to the table. Even though Shantaram is wonderful, it is taking me a while to get through due to all the things I find myself doing after work. It's hard to get through anything when you only get the chance to read for about half an hour a day.

Has anyone awaited the release of a book recently? Are you ready to plunge in or are you just as reserved as I am?

p.s I will begin making my book reviews available on this blog. Hopefully they'll inspire you to put one of my reads on your list. I always welcome conversation on literature; very little makes me happier =)

A summertime gift to myself!

2009-07-03T18:33:00.003-04:00

Those would be my feet. Please note that they are all pedicured up. A reddy-orange nailpolish seemed to be the perfect addition to my summertime look. The choice of colour had nothing to do with the colour of the t-shirt I was wearing today when I got the pedicure done - it was merely a coincidence

Somehow, no one believes me!

The writing's on the wall

2009-06-26T13:32:00.003-04:00

There's something special about the last stall at the back of one of the ladies rooms at my school.

If you should happen upon it, there, you will find a wall full of writing - hopes, dreams, fears, quotes, advice, awkward questions...everything. Contrary to what you might have seen way back in elementary or high-school, most of the messages are positive and reassuring. None of that "Molly + Jake = True Love" business. Individuals have written about abusive boyfriends/parents, friendships going awry, body image and weight problems to name a couple. In the end, the wall usually gets so full of messages that they get painted over and so, the writers start again.

I wanted to discuss this because I think something this simple says a lot about how we live our lives.

Why is it that we find it so much easier to gain advice from a stranger in a bathroom stall than it is to get it from people that know us, care about us and genuinely (at times) want to help?

The obvious answer would be because we don't want the people we love to be disappointed by us or judge us. If this is the case, couldn't the argument be made that our friends/family care about us and should do so unconditionally regardless of what they may think or feel and so, one should feel safe speaking to them? Anyone would know that it just doesn't work that way; we hide parts of ourselves from those we love and can be, at times eager to share it with a stranger anonymously just to let it out. Isn't it strange that our relationships work this way?

(Photo Credit: yeweny i)

Complexity

2009-06-18T23:12:00.005-04:00

Being my friend can be tough but satisfying. You're in for long talks, genuine interest, contemplative advice, encouragement and...brutal honesty. I know that at times this might not always be the best thing. Hell, even my friend Frank doesn't like frankness (hahaha...okay, I know, that was bad...)

I told a colleague of mine today who was complaining about being too blunt and brazen that I rather enjoyed it and that I rather not spend the time having to decipher what someone is saying instead of actually hearing what they are saying. Fair enough?

The strangest part of this all is how, regardless of all the candid, downright, direct statements and actions I throw out into the world, those coming back at me tend to be...complex. So here comes my inquiry on the topic of complexity. Not necessary complexity of words, or life events specifically, but as a whole. Complexity. Let's talk.

Not to get too analytical but is it possible that it is just the nature of things to be complex? Thinking about it, the world is full of events that aim in different ways to combine, build and become more complex. Take the Big Bang for example; the universe was a rich soup made out of simple bits of things and then it expanded and cooled so that these bits came together to make particles. Particles then came together to make the first atoms and consequently more stars and planets. Here follows everything else in the history of the universe that we come to know.

The aim of civilization is to continue to grow and improve upon what our forefathers founded. We naturally try and attain the unattainable, discover the unknown and charter the most complex paths through innovation and ingenuity. Success will always bring about a relative level of complexity for any party involved. You must push your limits to legitimately obtain all that you work for and I know that all would agree in me saying that "it ain't easy".

Do we have a natural tendency towards complexity?

(Photo credit Rico*oneday)

2009-06-17T22:53:00.003-04:00

The forecast calls for rain for the coming days. It has started today and, according to prediction, ends on Saturday. That means a lot of worms, hurrying from place to place and/or just giving up that cause all together and surrendering hair, shoes, business clothes and all with arms outstretched to the rain.

However, there is something else that happens only when it rains...

Snail conventions!!!

It's always neat to see them all gather on a big tree stump. I often wonder if they're discussing anything important or just sitting there and staring at one another. What a life huh?

Today, a snail very nearly became a the sickening crunch noise that occurs when...well...when you step on a snail! It happened to me a while ago (I swear, I didn't see it) and I felt so bad! I vowed to always watch my step when it rains and to save any snails that looked as if they would be subject to impending doom. Hence the reason why, towards 4:45 pm, I could have been found scooping up snails and putting them wherever they seemed to be headed. I had originally tried the pacifist approach of letting them take their own course (at their own pace...) whilst I waited to ensure their safety. I obviously underestimated how slow the little things could be! After getting really impatient, I just started moving them.

Does this make me a crazy snail lady? I wonder...

Another snail query; do you think they get dirt and muck stuck in their slimy bits when they're sliming their way around? If so, how does it get out of there?

Forever questioning,

2009-06-16T23:21:00.003-04:00

Love life, engage in it,
give it all you've got.
Love it with a passion
because life truly does give back,
many times over, what you put
into it.

- Maya Angelou

(Via Leave Happier. Photo credit .lollo)

Lovely but lonely...

2009-06-15T20:14:00.003-04:00

* sigh *

Who saw this coming? Sir Plant-alot (a.k.a Vick) has gone on a conference to spread his scholarly wisdom in Boston meaning that I am alone for a week. I know, a week! That's it! Just a few sleeps and he'll be back but still, I find myself pretty darn restless. First of all, I've cleaned the apartment twice already (!!!) and I've done the laundry (mind you, he only left yesterday). You can call me "domestic goddess extraordinaire" but my behaviour ain't foolin' anyone - I'm just lonely!

The fact that I'm lonely within 22.45 hours of him leaving (yes, I'm counting) is precisely what shocks me. Anyone who knows me well enough usually realize that although I love people, I cherish my me time. I enjoy being with myself. Being an "only-child" and progressing through life as a socially awkward/independant twenty something, I find myself constantly yearning for the quiet oasis of my room or the solitude that came with reading a dusty volume off my father's immense bookcase in the basement of my youth.

I've always been the type of girl that kills her own centipedes and pays her own bills. The type of person that can spend days on end with herself and still find enough inspiration in her thoughts to sustain her.

Lately, I feel like I'm always around people and while this is a good thing for my moods and for personal development (because you never learn very much if you're the only one teaching you), I feel a bit lost as to what to do when I'm by myself again.

I think I will use this time to listen to myself whisper things I should have heard long ago but didn't have the time to hear. I hope to enjoy my time catching up on the small simple things that makes me happy.

(Photo credit elise)

Something to think about...

2009-06-11T22:15:00.003-04:00

Often times, we question why we suffer to the degree that we do. We wonder of the moral that we are supposed to extract from the dark days and painful nights we occasionally have to face in order to grow. Do we necessarily have to suffer when we feel pain?

I read this recently, on pain and suffering...

Pain can exist without suffering, and it is also possible to suffer without feeling pain. The difference between them is...what we learn from pain - for example, that fire burns and is dangerous, is always for ourselves alone, but what we learn from suffering is what unites us as one human people. If we do not suffer with our pain, then we have not learned anything about ourselves. Pain without suffering is like victory without struggle.

Sorry about the somewhat gloomy subject. It's just an interesting thought that I wanted to share with you and, well, let's face it...life isn't always peaches.

Any comments on this?

If you go there, go with me...

2009-06-09T14:29:00.003-04:00

I woke up a few days ago with Wild Honey by U2 stuck in my head. This is really odd because I haven't heard that song in years.

However, its not surprising because I've been in a dreamy spring/summer frame of mind lately and I've always felt that it was a good running-through-the-field-with-wind-in-my-hair kind of song.

So...

" If you go there with me
Wild honey
You can do just what you please
Wild honey
Yeah, just blowing in the breeze
Wild honey
Wild, wild, wild "

(Photo Credit emily van ness )

Luminato

2009-06-07T13:30:00.008-04:00

The luminato arts festival was fantastic! I hadn't had such a fun day in Toronto in years - ever since Nuit Blanche a few years back where I got hit on by a transvestite (!).

The company was probably what was responsible for the success of my day trip; the French girls were lovely and fun. Not to mention various "funnies" that occurred during our attempts to communicate with each other in both French and English. We ate dinner at Swiss Chalet (pronounced Swisse Chalette by the girls) after which we ran off to Dundas Square to enjoy the Salsa session. We had such a good time and couldn't stop giggling at each other trying to sway our hips. Although Sir. Plant-alot and I have been taking Salsa lessons for quite a while, it was hard to move in such a large crowd and it kind of looked like I had no clue what I was doing! Then again, that could be the truth.

Somehow, we ended up not being able to find the CN Tower (it's gigantic for heaven's sakes!) because we got out of the subway through the wrong exit and the tower was blocked by various large buildings. Marianne finally spotted its reflection in a large building and we headed off just in time to catch the sunset...

Although I've lived in Toronto my entire life, I've never been up the CN Tower. It truly was beautiful to watch the busy streets and flashing lights - almost ethereal.Although I got back to Hamilton all grimy and sweaty at 12:45 pm (when all the crazy people at the GO bus station come out), I couldn't have spent a better day.

As for today, I will catch up on my reading and perhaps post a few of my recent favourte passages. Also, I think a nap is in order =)

My Saturday Plan

2009-06-06T12:40:00.003-04:00

(This was supposed to be posted yesterday but it seems like it didn't work...)

Whooohooo!! Another week done and the I'm weekend rejoicing!! I achieved a lot this week that I can be proud of; the most important being my new position at CURE Canada. I'm thrilled to be able to dedicate my time to an organization with excellent methodologies that will empower at-risk youth not only in the present but for years to come through development of confidence, attitudes, positive actions and thoughts. I admit that I've done very little administrative NGO work and so, I know that I have a lot to learn. I think this is partly why I wanted to apply for a more lucrative position and not just one of a part time volunteer - I just love to learn. Wish me luck people!!

I plan to check out the Luminato arts festival in Toronto today with the French students that are here on exchange. Toronto by itself is full of things to see so adding the thrill of the festival should make it even more of a memorable experience for them. Plus it gives me the opportunity to practice my French!!

A bientot!

A funny thing about bicycles

2009-06-04T19:58:00.003-04:00

For those of you who have ever been on a yacht or a boat, you would have experience this.

Every time you pass another yacht, a greeting of some sort always ensues. It could be as grand as a yelled conversation about the pleasantness of the water and where the best place to lay anchor would be or it could be as small as a nod of the head. There's always this connection that is instantly there if you drive a boat. It's boat bonding and I think it's cool.

You might perhaps be wondering why the heck I'm talking about and communicative boat love so I'll get down to the peculiar thing I've been noticing lately.

I've been commuting to work by bicycle since Monday, (and no, it has nothing to do with the commuter challenge, I would probably be walking to work anyways since I'm locomotively challenged and do not have a vehicle) and I've noticed a similar thing happening. Maybe it's just the fact that the sun is shining and people are generally happier but...I've been noticing quite a few head nods from other bikers lately. For example, today I was riding my bike home and literally everyone that passed me smiled at me! Let me clarify: it's not a normal smile, I'm talking a big smile; the kind you see without your glasses across the street sorta smile. It's like I joined this super cool club that I never knew existed.

Now before I get carried away with ideas of a secret society of biking enthusiasts where Lance Armstrong has been elected King and supreme ruler...

I have to say, I really like this sort of treatment. It's a lot friendlier than the shoves that I get at crosswalks as a pedestrian.

Have you ever noticed the same thing or is it just me?

(Photo credit .I Travel East)

My writers block manages a thank you if nothing else...

2009-06-04T10:54:00.004-04:00

I must apologize everyone. I really haven't had much to say lately and I don't really know why. First of all, I think it might be because I haven't been too well (don't worry, I feel much better now!) not to mention all my crazy evenings and hectic days at the office.

I must make time for this regardless since I have an award (my first ever!) to uphold now thanks to the ever so lovely and talented Carissa of The Lovely Dove. I recently started contributing to this blog on a more regular basis and so, although my readership is still quite low, I'm thrilled to be recognized. So, thank you again Carissa. You honestly made my day!

The rules for this award are;

1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.

2. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered.

3. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

I wanted to share this award with the following blogs (in no particular order):

1. Girl With The Red Hair
2. Working GIRL
3. Folie à Deux
4. To Do:
5. Travel Blissfu l
6. That Unreliable Girl
7. D -Minor Dilletante
8. Sugar Pop Tarts
9. Style rookie
10. Rachel's Pink Thoughts
11. Pretty How Town
12. One Happy Panda
13. Because It's Better Out Than In
14. Badass Geek
15. A New Simple Something!

These blogs are really "lovely" and are written by enthusiastic authors that display a range of emotions, thoughts and musings. I read/view them all nearly every day - they really add to my day's happiness =) Definitely check them out!

Have a great day everyone!

Kiss me tender...

2009-05-27T13:42:00.006-04:00

I recently discovered this photographer on Flickr who produces some of the most beautiful "love" photography. Usually, these sorts of pictures don't interest me since they're highly predictable and all leave you with the same impression. Osvaldo_Zoom on the other hand uses great compositional aspects and detail in his pictures that give the viewer an idea of the exact moment the shot was taken. I like this over the usual effect that blurs out the majority of the rest of the photograph and just highlights the lovers. I feel that there needs to be no other emphasis placed on the lovers - I get it. They love eachother. Fantastic.

I've been looking at this frequently the last few days. It just makes me melt.

He has many other shots like this on this feed on Flickr if you're just as melted as I was.

* Sigh *

2009-05-25T23:39:00.004-04:00

I figured that it was only appropriate to share some sunny, flowery pictures in light of the two days of rain that we have ahead of us. I actually rather like the rain - its renewing and life-giving. Plus, everything smells amazing after its rained - especially these flowers.

Let's welcome the rain people! I'm not asking you to throw a party or anything. Just smile when you notice that "raindrops keep falling on your head"...

(p.s - please note that I climbed a tree to take that first picture - aren't I dedicated?)

Purple Perspectives

2009-05-25T11:59:00.002-04:00

Maybe I was just a bit traumatized at the prospect of having a prince "purple-rain"-esque house but I was pleasantly surprised at how classic the addition of purple to these rooms was. Perhaps it has something to do with that particular hue but, these rooms look at touch exotic.

(photos from Canadian House & Home.)

Making the most of the little time we have

2009-05-22T11:22:00.003-04:00

No, don't worry, it's not going to be one of THOSE posts; the ones that agonize over life and complain that its "too short".

Every time I work at a full time job, I always realize the same thing - how quickly time flies. We also end up being overwhelmed by all that we want to accomplish after work. After all, it seems to be the only time of day that we have to ourselves; a very precious few hours commandeered by bus schedules and interrupted by laundry duties, dinner preparation and that nagging feeling that you should be doing something for yourself. It seems like time just doesn't want to cooperate, and as it gets increasingly so, you end up feeling increasingly pressured until...well...you collapse in bed, exhausted.

Delving further into this issue, I found that there is a way to beat the system.

Seriously. I'm not joking, so stop pinching yourself.

You have to brainwash yourself into enjoying everything you do after work. Find something wonderful about washing those clothes - perhaps how lovely everything smells or now nicely the sun is shining through your windows as you fold them.

Okay, I know that sounded corny but it works for me. I try to constantly keep myself in a very "inspired" state - finding beauty in everything that I see. I really think that you have to make this effort or else, everything has the potential to look grim and ugly.

The take home lesson here would be to remind yourself that trying to live life enraptured is therapeutic enough and can be considered as something "for yourself". Make life your muse. You might find yourself wandering around aimlessly and grinning like an idiot when you flower petals fall to the ground but I think that the humiliation is well worth it.

(Photo Credit)

It's about time I got a business card

2009-05-13T21:51:00.006-04:00

Low key, subtle. So smart.

This has got to be one of the best ideas ever.

My Inner Scrapbooker LOVES this one

I started my business card design development by researching to see what other people are doing. Turns out...I got a bit distracted - people are way too witty.

The thing is, a business card needs to convey a lot; ingenuity, creativity, practicality and uniqueness. I would say that all of these fit the bill. Wouldn't you say?

I doubt that my budget would accommodate extravagant cards such as these. It looks like its going to be a good ol' Word document with flashy paper. That's fine for now but I'm looking forward to being able to do something wonderful when I settle in a field. It needs to be something creative...something that makes people say "holy christmas, thats a wicked/cool/fantastic/memorable/highly intoxicatingly wonderful business card design".

I can hear them already...

(Check out more pictures)

I dream of Paris...

2009-05-11T22:12:00.001-04:00

* Sigh *

I fooled you didn't I?? This isn't Paris at all!! It's VEGAS! Yes, that's right. If you've never been before - I think it was hilarious and very innovative that they managed to get the Eiffel tower sticking through the middle of the hotel! I hope to post a few more pictures about my trip tomorrow.

Not to mention, get back into my blogging routine.

Another year, some more time...

2009-05-08T14:46:00.004-04:00

Happy Birthday to me!

So, it's my Birthday today and although I didn't want to make it a big deal, I'm kinda happy that it was acknowledged. I went into work praying that no one knew it was my birthday. Thankfully, that was the case all through the morning until I was in the student centre with my boss towards mid-day and my friends popped out of nowhere (seriously, nowhere!) with a homemade hat and big smiles. Although I was absolutely embarassed at the thought of everyone making a fuss of my birthday AND horrified when my boss told everyone in the office as well, I couldn't help but be thankful.

I look at all my friends and the people that I've met throughout my life and I really consider myself blessed to have met them and to have had the opportunity to form relationships with them regardless of the type. Their big smiles, careful criticisms and kind eyes often helped me make the best of my day and without them, I'd be miserable, surely.

So today, on my birthday, I just wish for the continuous support from those that I love and the chance to always make them a part of my life. Thank you for all that you do. You don't understand how much you mean to me.

(Picture credits - abbietabbie)

And I just use paper to write on.

2009-05-07T23:44:00.002-04:00

Mandy Smith made this out of paper:

" Inspired by the distorted canal houses in Amsterdam and my love for paper"

Now that is unbelievable.

In the mail today...

2009-05-07T19:53:00.006-04:00

Take a peek at what I found in the mail this morning!

Circle of Life Necklace

A Fly By Necklace

Garden of Joy Creamy Jade Bracelet

My purchases from Elle Custom Jewelry on Etsy are just amazing! I can't get over how unique all these pieces are and how timelessly they go with everything. What a cheerful way to start a very rainy day...

Why I love it: Books

2009-05-06T21:52:00.007-04:00

Cyril Connolly sums it up.

"While thought exists, words are alive & literature becomes an escape, not from but into living"

Literature has always been one of my most passionate loves. Nothing makes me feel better than a beautiful word printed on an old dusty page laden with dried tears and moist with anxious sweat of my reading.

What do you love?

(I can't remember where I got the image from, sorry!)

A Tisket, A Tasket

2009-05-05T19:40:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted in about a week and I feel out of my element already! Who knew that I'd find this so enjoyable and necessary in managing my daily grind woes.

The apartment is coming along very nicely. We've had a lot of help which I'm thankful for because I very rudely ditched Sir Plant-alot to go to Vegas for few days while he basically finished the moving of the apartments up. I'll make it up by finishing the apartment setup with him this week - so far, we've managed to finish the kitchen, organize and move things into storage. I've also just started my new job at Career Services. Needless to say, I haven't had much time to blog!

Too many tasks, so little time! I'm looking forward to being able to have some time tonight to fill everyone in on my trip as well as my fab. life at the moment.

Sunday Musings

2009-04-26T12:47:00.005-04:00

52/11 - Weight Of The World
Originally uploaded by *lemonade*

Happy Sunday everyone!

I woke up relatively early and made a lovely breakfast. I'll be making some tea in just a while and hopefully my mum and our family friend might come visit for late lunch. I'm looking forward to seeing her - I haven't in a while. With the chaos and stress of my life as of late, I'm not surprised that I'm craving some motherly attention. Plus, she always has the best goodies in her purse and the sweetest smelling hand creams...(how she fits all those things in there is beyond me!)

Still reading Shantaram and happily doing so. I hope that it never ends. This book just lets my mind run free and rampant but gathers me up just in time to gain the focus necessary to relate to its experiences and messages.

We all feel that we ought to learn something from life and the feelings we associate with it each day. Really though, how often do we manage to do that? The more negative the feelings, the harder it seems to be to find truth and meaning despite the sheer "miserableness" of it all.

I loved this passage.

I clenched my teeth against the stars. I closed my eyes. I surrendered to sleep. One of the reasons why we crave love, and seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness, and shame and sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you feel them again. Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you.

How hauntingly true.

I figure that you can only keep running for so long before you just have to face it, whatever it is and work through it. Don't get discouraged during these times dear reader; it is then that you can learn the most about the extent of your personal strength.

Enjoy your Sunday regardless of what you're facing. There's always something to be thankful for.

(Photo by Lemonade)

Saturday Afternoon - Join me for a cuppa??

2009-04-25T14:29:00.004-04:00

Happy Weekend people! It's a beautiful day here in Hamilton and now that I'm finished doing some housework I will go outside and play.

Perhaps get some groceries done and them some reading time the grass? *sigh* Who wouldn't want to spend their day like that!

Hope everyone is having a picture perfect weekend. Oh yeah...and enjoy some afternoon tea. I know I'll be doing just that.

(photo by Joanna Henderson)

Brilliant!

2009-04-22T19:18:00.005-04:00

I'll be writing an important exam tomorrow and so, I don't have much time to blog today but I did want to share something that I found:

This is such a clever video. Hope I have half as much ingenuity tomorrow!! (Wish me luck)

I have a feeling I can be someone (be someone, be someone)

2009-04-21T18:59:00.006-04:00

Every month or so, I get up the courage to listen to Fast Car by Tracy Chapman and promise myself that I won't cry. Every month or so, I stand corrected.

I really don't know what it is about that song.

It's not that I necessarily strongly identify with it. I don't often feel like running away from my life and it certainly isn't nearly as rough for me as it portrayed in the song.

I guess that, to a degree, we all wish that we had a fast car to fly away in and the optimism it takes to see a brighter future. In the end, what really hits home is that, no matter what, you can still aspire and endure.

Remember that folks. Nothing has the power to break your spirit.

(Photography by Chris Blott)

Laugh of the Day

2009-04-20T12:57:00.004-04:00

Very VERY gradual change...go Darwin!

Dancing Sisters Soap

2009-04-19T14:39:00.004-04:00

This line of cute bath and skin care products are made with all natural materials and often come in vegan formats as well so that everyone can enjoy what Dancing Sisters has to offer.

The shaving bars are good for the environment and better for your skin.
Check out the cute whipped soap cupcakes! I think this would perfect as presents.

PostSecret Sundays

2009-04-19T14:16:00.002-04:00

It's funny how, in a world that's so connected, we could feel so alone. I'm amazed at how many people I know that feel...well...lonely.

This is for all of you out there that feel the same way. There's always going to be someone/something/somewhere for you...promise. You just need to know where to look.

Hope

2009-04-18T16:44:00.005-04:00

My bike got stolen sometime this past week.

I had it all locked up in the apartment basement in preparation for a spring full of joy rides and breezy travels; I was going to put my license number on it this summer just in case it ever got stolen.

I found the pool cue that they used to pry open the fencing. Oddly enough, it wasn't just the bike that they pried through the fence to get to. They, without knowing, managed to rip through my childhood and pull out a decent chunk.

My father gifted me the bike when I was 13 or 14. We were very financially unstable and I knew how much this had cost him. I promised to keep it safe and take care of it.

I remember the independence I used to feel when I used to ride it. The wind in my hair, the adrenaline coursing through my veins when I went down too big a hill on too fast a speed, the way my legs toned shapely and strong.

Maybe I'm making this a big deal when I shouldn't be. I just can't help feeling this way.

I sincerely hope that whoever stole it really needed to do so; perhaps they needed the money desperately when they sold it for 50 bucks (mind you, its an $800 bike). I can only hope for that whoever has it now respects it and the little piece of my childhood they now own.

Singita Game Reserves - South Africa

2009-04-16T22:25:00.004-04:00

Singita's stylishly earthy lodges in South Africa are breathtaking. I could only imagine what it would be like to wake up in a place like this, look outside and see all that nature has to offer.

(via Mom's Turf)

Where Design and Dork Meet...

2009-04-16T21:38:00.002-04:00

I'm absolutely thrilled at this Tetris Furniture Design. It's practical, edgy and so much fun. In a world full of tiny living spaces, condos and townhouses, I imagine it would be quite the space saver unless you're Tetris challenged...

*cue Tetris music on exeunt*

How do you feel about these? I'm thinking that besides the loud colours, they're super fab!

Oren Lavie - Her Morning Elegance

2009-04-16T21:37:00.002-04:00

This puts a smile to my face every time I watch it...

Plaid Elegance

2009-04-16T21:36:00.002-04:00

I just love the elegance of Minnie Mortimer's line of clothing inspired by school clothing! It's a hard look to pull off but it's just so pretty for spring!

This is just simple, fresh and elegant. Love the very flattering A-line cut:

What do you think???

Snaggletooth

2009-04-14T10:57:00.003-04:00

I woke up this morning a bit sore in the mouth. Upon closer inspection, I dare say there might be a tooth coming up where my wisdom tooth used to be! Vick thinks that the dentist missed when he pulled out my wisdom tooth and pulled out a molar instead (hence explaining the emergence of another wisdom tooth perhaps???).

However ridiculous that hypothesis may seem, it kind of makes me wonder...

What the heck is that?!?

A Story's Worth

2009-04-14T01:03:00.003-04:00

Taken from Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts, this adeptly describes how necessary it is that we know, acknowledge and embody each others stories no matter how far from our realities they might seem. In truth, I feel this is why I sojourn to this blog during my day. It's the reason why I write to you...

There's a truth that's deeper than experience. It's beyond what we see, or even what we feel. It's an order of truth that separates the profound from the merely clever, and the reality from the perception. We're helpless, usually in the face of it; and the cost of knowing it, like the cost of knowing love, is sometimes greater than any heart would willingly pay. It doesn't always help us to love the world, but it does prevent us from hating the world. And the only way to know the truth is to share it, from heart to heart...

It's around 1:15 a.m but I'll be up for a while yet. Il y aura une nuit blanche bien necessaire. Just wanted to take a break and share this with you.

This Sunday's PostSecret...

2009-04-12T23:27:00.004-04:00

The message in this postsecret definitely applies to a lot of people I know. With women becoming increasingly independent, career - oriented, and focused on leading and controlling their lives, it isn't a suprise that people find a great risk in love. In my opinion, if you are a person that is capable of having all of the above, and have been in failed relationships before, it is diffcult to make the decision to love and be loved in return if you have so much to lose.

It's a bit cliché but it is true; the best things come when you least expect it. I think, even when I look back at my relationships of past, that I am truly grateful of having them no matter what mascara-streaming-down-my-face horror show it concluded with. There really isn't much to lose...just so much to gain. Really.

Let him/her love you. Just take a deep breath and fall in...

Why are we Open??

2009-04-11T10:49:00.003-04:00

I'm at work at the moment and I'm wondering why?

Everything else is closed, why couldn't we be as well? I ran to work this morning thinking that I'd be able to put my stuff down, run upstairs and get my well deserved tea and muffin but noooooo, they were closed. I stood there looking rather dejected wondering, "why am I here then?"

Sorry about the rant.

On the bright side, at least I get paid to study for my exams (and print out all my lecture notes )

;)

Oh Noes!!

2009-04-10T17:59:00.004-04:00

This is exactly how I feel when I'm enjoying a great meal and Vickram notices...

A Wall Update

2009-04-10T17:31:00.006-04:00

With the indispensable help of Mr. Fanfan, my walls now look like:Forgive the poor quality of the pictures. I'm hoping to take a few more this weekend to show you the finished product. I figured that this design would go nicely since our kitchen has very "diner" esque tiles down the floor but I had no clue how to execute it! Fanfan was a great help. He apparently dreamed up how we could tape the boxes so that the edges would touch...Now that's skill. This is after the taping and the cutting. Kind of blurry but you get the gist of the situation.

After the painting in and some of the tape cut away. You can see the true colour of the paint here.

He won't be my neighbour...

2009-04-06T21:41:00.001-04:00

Fanfan must hate me and think that I smell.

A Pleasant Take on Rain...

2009-04-06T11:17:00.005-04:00

The day looks beautiful in this picture. Everything that today is not in Hamilton, Ontario. It's a gorgeous picture though so I hope it cheers at least some of you up!

I woke up this morning and wanted to still be sleeping. Although I love rain, I don't like this sort of rain. I like my rain to be decisive enough to choose between either being sleet or actual rain. Better yet, rain should be unambitious - it should just be what it is and not aspire to be anything remotely like hail.

That would be a travesty.

Dancing Feet

2009-04-04T02:40:00.002-04:00

I've been out 2 nights in a row now which is completely opposite to what I've been doing this past year (and a bit). While I probably could be doing other things more valuable like furthering my education or practicing my acceptance speech for becoming Prime Minister (!!!), I really enjoyed being out with my friends, acting silly and just having a blast.

It still bothers me that I'm so reserved. It's odd because I rarely genuinely laugh or smile and I never know what to say when someone tries to make small talk with me. I think I'm socially awkward. I guess that just me. Probably something that won't be changing any time soon. * sigh *

I'm home now and I've taken a shower and getting ready to go to sleep. Going to have another industrious day tomorrow.

Outwardly, I'm complaining about how painful my dancing feet are...inside, I wish it happened more often.

The Gift of Gab...

2009-04-02T19:08:00.003-04:00

...I just wish I had it.

Some might argue that I do. But, I'll be honest, those people would be few and far between.

I wish I were the type of person that could say something truly earth-shattering and magnificent every time you were to speak to me. The kind of person that people just gravitated to because I was so profound. Yep, I want to be the new Plato...

I've sorta figured out over time that being the new Plato might be a lot easier said than done.

I'm an excellent communicator. Truly, I am. My closest friends would definitely agree. Them and my stuffed bear whom I used to practice my presentations to in elementary school, and some of high school (and most of university...)

I have visions of coming up with my own sex-in-the-city-esque "I couldn't help but wonder..." catch phrase and reeling in thousands...all with one gabby gift.

Sometimes it just flows. I astound myself with my wordy worldlyness. Like in interviews! My words are like butter in interviews! I'm not complaining. I would rather prefer to keep my interview performances at an all time high BUT what's going on all those other times when I want to get my point across - dazzle and wow???

It's definitely not a self confidence thing. I think it's rather twisted actually. I think that somehow I convince myself that I should be nervous/anxious/lost for words in a particular situation and so, I end up being said feelings in said situation. How sad is that??

It's not even that I'm worried or nervous during appropriate times either. This is what irks me the most - I get nervous when I'm on the phone giving someone driving directions. When a friend asks me what I thought of the movie I saw last night. When my dad asks me what I ate for supper. When I was supposed to upkeep this blog and write in it daily but instead I'm posting now after nearly a year...

I think I feel the need to be so witty and so interesting to talk to that the very pressure of it all makes my vocal cords want to run like the wind.

Guys, seriously...what is wrong with me?? I concern myself. I really do.

=)

Ubiquitous

2008-04-24T16:32:00.002-04:00

Something funny happened to me yesterday. I guess the right thing to do would be to provide a bit of background...

About a month and a half ago; roughly at the beginning of March, I began feeling run-down and tired. It felt like at any time, I would get some sort of flu and be knocked off my feet for a few days. I woke up every morning feeling as if I would be terribly sick that day but I just plowed on through and nothing ever happened. By the end of the evening, I was back to feeling tired and lethargic...

Then, around the second to last week in march, I got really sick. Fever. Headache. Body soreness. The whole works. I figured it was all over when I was out and about a few days later. That definitely wasn't the case.

Ever since then, for the entirety of the month, I've been feeling sick. My tonsils were swollen to varying degrees every day and my head would hurt for hours at a time. I went back to see a doctor to get some blood work and throat swabs done, all of which surprisingly came back negative for everything that it could have been - mononucleoses, strep throat. After getting the news, I went home certain that something wasn't right but determined to not let it bother me.

While studying for my exams, I started feeling worse and worse which made it increasingly difficult to maintain concentration. I made another and final appointment to see what they could do for me. I expected another blood test but what I got instead was a simple answer, stress.

Could I honestly be this stressed out? Stressed to the point where my immune system is on the flippin' red alert? I know for a fact that I've been a lot more stressed out before. Apparently my body thinks thats its been ubiquitous as of late...I disagree. Although I have to say, I did feel kind of pathetic when the doctor started mocking me for not having a life. A doctor! She gave me a note to defer my exams if I wanted and told me to go get a life. Harsh but apparently needed.

I'm not buying it. Then again, I might be in denial.

Umm...

2008-04-23T01:25:00.002-04:00

Emailed to a friend about 2 minutes ago:

"So I just wanted to let you know that Portishead has struck again with another album. As I was waiting for the song to buffer on Last.com I was reading all the reviews which were raving with excitement and for a moment, a brief little glimmer of hope entered my mind and told me that perhaps, just perhaps, this wouldn't be too bad. It was finally finished buffering and I pressed play.

I got through about thirty seconds of it before I closed the tab and said to myself, "apparently not..."

(no offense to all the portishead fans out there - it just isn't my thing)

transformational grammar....psycholinguistic theory...oooo loook a shiny thing!

2008-04-22T13:20:00.000-04:00

I'm pathetic at studying.

P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C

That's bad, right? Seeing as how I actually have to get through this material some way or another before Friday, it really is bad that I can't seem to focus.

I blame the sun. And the trees. And the wind. And Vick. And Damean. And Mike. And everyone-else-who-messages-me. Not myself. Of course not. That would be silly.(On a side note - I hate that I've used "And" after periods...)

SO, in order to deem this post a "study aid", I will put up some of my favourite garden path sentences and ambiguous headlines (yes, that's right. I have favourites - and there you were thinking that I loved them all).

1. Prostitutes appeal to pope.
2. Queen Mary having bottom scraped.
3. Milk drinkers are turning to powder.
4. I saw the alps flying to Romania
5. (the infamous) The horse raced past the barn fell
6. Time flies. You cannot. They move too fast.
7. Cheney hunts quail. Companions duck.
8. Drunk gets nine months in violin case.

Zeugma
1. Are you getting fit or having one?
2. The beer needs to be drunk and so do we.

To add some educational information into the post (just to make it worthwhile for me), garden path sentences are often used as proof to psycholinguists that speech processing is done serially. Essentially, as a read a garden path sentence, we are processing the syntax devoid of meaning until we realize that its wrong and we have to go back and make another syntactic representation for it. Interesting? I say so.

Somewhere a Clock is Ticking...

2008-04-20T16:59:00.002-04:00

...and I'm still going through the daily motions the way I used to: unmotivated, unproductive, apathetic.

"I guess I'm emo". Whatever. I welcome any kind of title the world offers for this kind of feeling.

It really pisses me off that I have nothing better to say. I'm just another, in a crowd of millions that are complacent and miserable. Power in numbers? I think not. There is no good to be had when a group of down and outs join hands and find confidence in...erm...crying?

That being said, all of us, all these people can do something about this state of mind. I started writing this post a while back and forgot about it. Thank goodness. If I had continued it then, it would have probably been full of similar sounding woes as the first few lines. Pity me pity me pity me!

I personally think that being miserable is a choice (unless you're chemically imbalanced - don't worry, at least its in style!). You can wake up in the morning and decidedly stay in bed to cry about how the terrible realities of your life OR you can learn to find joy in the smallest of things. Perhaps how the branches on the tree outside flutters its leaves against your window or how much happier people seem in general now that it's summer. Of course, that feeling of happiness, brightness and joy might feel foreign and distant but it doesn't have to be that way. I'm sure that there are many people in the world that would gladly trade their lives with yours - to live life where you are, like you are, looking like you. If you're honestly that pessimistic to think that what I said isn't possible, then why not begin trying to live your life - give people something to envy!

I know that it seems so simple in your head until you go out and try it. But honestly, try it.

Somewhere a clock is ticking.

Don't let it leave you behind.

Drawing Lines

2007-08-13T20:06:00.000-04:00

As far as I can remember, I've been drawing lines.

Lines on the sidewalk separated me from my enemies during simple games in the summers of my childhood.

Lines appeared, pre-determined and strong, after I became the socially reclusive teenager.

Even now, lines are written on the walls of my mind that limit me from people, places and things.

Self protection, invincibility, independence, being cautious, being smart - you can call it what you want but I know now that it all boils down to being scared.

I boast that I've learned the joys of throwing myself head-first into the unknown knowingly but have I done that lately? The simple answer is no...

The easiest solution to this would be to stop drawing lines in my life and take a leap of faith. Instead of a do-not-cross I should instead throw myself a life line - a line to pull me out of myself and into the world.

I know that I would regret this choice on occasion because I'm bound to be disappointed. Who isn't after all? I figure that as long as I find meaning and beauty in the pain, I will be alright.

There's no way that I will become the cultured, experienced and wise person that I aspire to be if I stay within the lines I've drawn for myself.

In fact, despite all the horrible and hurtful things I might experience on the other side, I'm pretty sure that the view from there would be spectacular....

On the Bandwagon

2007-08-08T18:33:00.000-04:00

My celebrity look-a-likes. Hmm...lets see.

and Again...

http://www.myheritage.com

Yay for Nissan!

2007-08-05T20:36:00.000-04:00

I thought this was pretty cool.

Let's just hope this doesn't count as one of the platinum features because I'm sure that many people would opt out of it if they are going to have to spend a ton to have their sweat analyzed.

My Refusal to be Prosaic

2007-08-03T05:02:00.001-04:00

When writing papers the night before they are due, it is definitely tempting to abandon style and fluidity and just provide content. However, I seem to need that addition of "myself" in everything I write regardless of the amount of hours it takes me just to do that. Anyone can write something quickly and provide the content needed for debate/analysis but I am of the opinion that this is the easy way out. The catch: this choice for quantity over quality reflects not only the end result that is your paper, but it also reflects your ability to think introspectively and to have the courage and pride that it takes to put yourself "out there" in every thing you say and do.

I know, it sounds a bit abstract but in all honesty I think it's applicable.

Whether it be paper writing or conversation, I notice that many people just settle for getting the job done and disregard the real purpose of writing papers or having conversations - self knowledge. If you don't give it your all, how do you expect to get anything real out of the experience?

This is the problem that many students are encountering these days - they are missing the point of education. As a university student, I find myself lucky to have the opportunity to be a part of a community wherein discussion can be rich and worldly knowledge is high.

Why not take full advantage of the situation?

Put yourself out there. It may "waste your time" but in the end, trust me, you'll be gaining a lot more...

Natural Java Jolt?

2007-08-01T18:07:00.000-04:00

How is it that I'm still awake? I've been up for more than a day now and I've been writing assignments

left...

right...

and center.

Luckily for me, I have only 4 more to go (that actually doesn't sound like a good thing...). Oh well, I'll sleep on Friday.

Having someone be there while you study is like some sort of natural java jolt. I suppose it has something to do with being secure and bouncing ideas off each other so you don't delay by second-guessing yourself. Apart from that, you just hurry up because you get worried about keeping the other person up too late.

On a side note: Out of all weeks to start a blog, I picked the where I have the most work due. Tool for procrastination...most definitely!